On playing live

Posted: July 11, 2011 in Music, Performance, Ramblings
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’ve been promising myself that this post would be coming soon, and have exhausted all my conceivable excuses. Now, save a nuclear holocaust, alien abduction, or the thought of something more productive to do, nothing is going to stop THIS revision of THIS post rolling out.
So if it seems rough and incoherent, you have only myself to blame.
I think one of the larger problems I’ve had with getting this post out was that I was simply trying to cover too much information in one go. A feeling akin to stuffing as many marshmallows as possible in one’s moth and then trying to swallow. I have now decided that the main purpose of THIS post is to discuss my feelings about Gunmetal Grey’s recent debut into the world of live music.
There’s a news post coming at some point in the future, but I am doing my best to forget about that so that I may focus more fully on the matter at hand.

The crux of the matter is that I have now had the opportunity to perform my music on a stage in front of people.
The notion of which, if you had mentioned it to me 3 months earlier, would have sent my head reeling. Looking back, it is a kind of incredible to me that such an event was able to happen, and happen so soon. Far before the time frame I had originally projected for myself.
This is also somewhat of a dream realized for me. I can’t say that this is something I’ve wanted my entire life, as that is most decidedly untrue. It is, however, something I have dreamed about doing for a significant portion of my life. Yearned for, even. It is something that made me want to go into music in the first place. I have watched concert videos, attended concerts, all with an intense fascination at the effects of and emotions surrounding live music.

Thus, I can truly state my satisfaction when I claim that this concert was a huge success.
The concert was a triumph in multiple ways, not the least of which was the technological ability to do what I wanted. You would not believe the amount of time I have spent thinking of the best way to play Gunmetal Grey live. It was a challenge which haunted my thoughts even before I had recorded any songs.
In case you were horrendously misinformed, or for some reason are not aware of the fact yet: Gunmetal Grey is one person. As such, the amount of music I can produce in multiple tracks in a studio setting and the amount possible when on a stage with only two hands is vastly different. I have never allowed this discrepancy to restrict what I do in the studio, however, nor will I ever. The point is that being able to produce any music whatsoever on stage was an accomplishment in my eyes.

Aside from just overcoming technical barriers, though, this concert marks a personal milestone. Though I have long dreamed of performing live music, there has always been that small anti-spark of doubt that I would not be able to accomplish such a feat because of my own reservations when it comes to essentially existing in such a public and vulnerable setting. Nerves. And the ability to open up so completely in front of strangers, and potentially hostile ones at that. Despite any impressions this blog or anything else gives to the contrary, I am quite an introvert, and the possibility that I wound up holed up in a studio, producing music 24/7 but never seeing the light of day was all too real. Did I have what it would take to do this, what I wanted to so much?
Well. ‘Yes’ is the answer, as I have now proven unequivicobaly to myself.

This blog post was a little on the personal and introspective side, but thank you for taking the time to read it.
News post…..sometime later.


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